Simplicity:
...the endless possibilities that existed is the same thing as dwelling.
When you fall in love I don't believe it's possible to fall out. So what's the use of considering the possibilities? Is it true that the end represents exhaustion of the possibility? I believe that love is what you make it.... for the most part. But, there's something inside of me that supports the notion of 1 true love and fate and destiny etc. If the feeling comes once in a lifetime.. how come it can take you from high to low in a matter of 5 minutes. I had a conversation that was supposed to be representative of the end of something between someone very special to me but I went back and forth with the thought that it simply would never be considered an end.... But, at the end of the day my considerations are simply my considerations or me dwelling on something that this special someone simply is not. Because if he was thinking of it the way I was, and quite frankly still am, then he would never have come to the decision that we'd reached our conclusion. Right? Even when something makes sense for lack of a better term.... it doesn't necessarily make happiness. So I suppose the real question is why are people quicker to settle for less than what they really want when what they really want is staring them in the face but is something brand new and unknown to them? In the act of love... is fear the contender? And even further, does love lose the battle? I can only imagine my life a certain way and in that image... love trumps all, I'd rather die a thousand deaths than allow myself to give in to the fear of the unknown for the sake of my truest love. But, maybe that's the hopeless romantic or old soul inside of me holding on to something that may not exist.
So, Sean... tell me. Since our form of communication has been diminished to short text messages and I feel my only option is this blog... tell me your perception on considering the end, and why we settle for less than what we deserve and put ourselves through the pain of wanting for something you could and should simply have? More specifically, why would you put yourself through the pain I imagine you're feeling because it's a constant for me.
Or maybe I'm a fool for thinking it's mutual.
Sean:
In a battle between your heart in your mind there is no true winner. However you look at it you lose. YOU lose the person you think is your best friend or the person you feel is your best friend. YOU lose the person that's been on your mind with every decision you made or the person that's been in your heart possibly guiding these decisions. YOU lose a piece of yourself...that you will never get back. Love is a disguised form of suicide- no matter how you look at it a part of you dies. If you lose the love of your life, you are eternally affected. If you marry the love of your life, YOU no longer exist as YOU is replaced by US. Either way YOU die. The worst type of suicide are the kamikazee style suicides: where you kill not only yourself but also others around you. My decision wasn't one that propelled the known over the unknown for I know life with you would be blissful for me. But my decision was to choose someone else's LIFE (and subsequent happiness) over mine.
...the endless possibilities that existed is the same thing as dwelling.
When you fall in love I don't believe it's possible to fall out. So what's the use of considering the possibilities? Is it true that the end represents exhaustion of the possibility? I believe that love is what you make it.... for the most part. But, there's something inside of me that supports the notion of 1 true love and fate and destiny etc. If the feeling comes once in a lifetime.. how come it can take you from high to low in a matter of 5 minutes. I had a conversation that was supposed to be representative of the end of something between someone very special to me but I went back and forth with the thought that it simply would never be considered an end.... But, at the end of the day my considerations are simply my considerations or me dwelling on something that this special someone simply is not. Because if he was thinking of it the way I was, and quite frankly still am, then he would never have come to the decision that we'd reached our conclusion. Right? Even when something makes sense for lack of a better term.... it doesn't necessarily make happiness. So I suppose the real question is why are people quicker to settle for less than what they really want when what they really want is staring them in the face but is something brand new and unknown to them? In the act of love... is fear the contender? And even further, does love lose the battle? I can only imagine my life a certain way and in that image... love trumps all, I'd rather die a thousand deaths than allow myself to give in to the fear of the unknown for the sake of my truest love. But, maybe that's the hopeless romantic or old soul inside of me holding on to something that may not exist.
So, Sean... tell me. Since our form of communication has been diminished to short text messages and I feel my only option is this blog... tell me your perception on considering the end, and why we settle for less than what we deserve and put ourselves through the pain of wanting for something you could and should simply have? More specifically, why would you put yourself through the pain I imagine you're feeling because it's a constant for me.
Or maybe I'm a fool for thinking it's mutual.
Sean:
In a battle between your heart in your mind there is no true winner. However you look at it you lose. YOU lose the person you think is your best friend or the person you feel is your best friend. YOU lose the person that's been on your mind with every decision you made or the person that's been in your heart possibly guiding these decisions. YOU lose a piece of yourself...that you will never get back. Love is a disguised form of suicide- no matter how you look at it a part of you dies. If you lose the love of your life, you are eternally affected. If you marry the love of your life, YOU no longer exist as YOU is replaced by US. Either way YOU die. The worst type of suicide are the kamikazee style suicides: where you kill not only yourself but also others around you. My decision wasn't one that propelled the known over the unknown for I know life with you would be blissful for me. But my decision was to choose someone else's LIFE (and subsequent happiness) over mine.
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