Measures of a Man

I've all too often been told what makes a man. Crazy enough is the fact that most of those times its by non-men. Boys proclaiming their men because of some contrite display of machismo, maybe bringing in a couple dollars, or girls naïve or perhaps greedy think a man becomes so once he's willing to provide for them or women have been known to play on a man's ego trying to hurt his feelings by questioning his manhood- not sexual but more along the lines of dismissing the mans ability to handle the womans' perception of the man's responsibility. Or some believe having certain possessions one's own apartment perhaps- makes you of man status. First off a man is made a man by the things that he goes through. Not having an active father (he was there physically, but that's about it. He rarely lent himself emotionally) I had to learn what a man was on my own- just by living and going through those things. Luckily I had older brothers and not that they were the greatest of role models, but they play a huge role in my development. One should be able to learn and take something constructive out of every situation. So even if they did wrong I learned what not to do. And for me its important to know what makes a man because I'm raising a lil man myself. Recently it was posed to me that some men are misguided, thinking the measure of men is placing others before themselves and by doing so, they're neglecting their own happiness. Hmmmm. My answer to that? That is exactly what makes me the MAN I am today. Men must do the difficult things make the hard decisions because we can endure the punishment. And often our choices affect others, others who may not be as strong as us to endure the pain of our decisions. That is what makes the decision difficult- but we must weigh the amount of those negatively affected versus those positively enhanced and we must always strive to decide in the favor of the greater number especially when we are on the side of the minority the lesser number. I will always place the happiness of those closest to me before my own. Why? Because I can live with that. Knowing that my sacrifices betters the life of another gives me satisfaction. And as far as not living the life I may want to live or doing the things I want to do? Well that's challenge of men: living with your decisions and finding a way to overcome all odds. So to recap a man is measured by learning from all influences be it negative or positive; a man is measured by his ability to make the unpopular decision that he thinks is beneficial to the greater number of people involved; a man stands by that decision even if wrong he lives with the regrets carries on with no excuses. Now of course there is way more to man hood this is just a brief response to something I read recently. Plus I'm sure Simplicity has her two cents...

Simplicity: Of course I do!

Confuscious said, "Wheresoever you go, go with all of your heart."
In response to your proclamation of the measure of a man, I am writing the measure of a woman. Granted the measure of a man can't truly be known or bestowed upon one by way of someone who isn't a "man". But, take the word, "woman." Man is the root of the word and I interpret the w-o- to signify w/o man because the two can't go without the other, just as wo is not a word without other letters.
A woman may feel obligated to voice her opinion in regard to what makes a man. Forgive her, that comes from the redundancy of poor decision-making on the part of men she's previously encountered in all walks of her life. A woman is measure by the strength she is able to find when the man by her side is in need of reinforcement and that includes pointing out the negative along with the positive. While men claim to be capable of living with decisions they've made at the sacrifice of their happiness it is an impulsive statement to make, let alone try to stand by.
But, the true measure of a man is not in in the mistakes or decisions he's made but in the time it takes him to grow and try to right his wrongs.
I'll agree that the decisions men make and the experiences he's experienced have much to do with his growth. But, doesn't growth imply a sense of maturing, for example going from boy to a young man to a man?
No one can see the future, nor predict the results of a decision made in the present, all we can do is draw comparisons between similar or identical situations in an attempt to prevent someone from making the wrong decision, which you've seen fail yourself.
Furthermore, the measure of a man, it's safe to say, includes but is not excluded to the individual development of him wholeheartedly because over time, though you claim you can live unhappily, subliminally you will grow into a misery that can not be ignored.
I will respect your opinion and agree that you've made valid points by way of experience and your evident wisdom.
However, I will conclude that without man, women can not learn to act within reason and not 100% emotionally, and without women, men can not accept their shortcomings and truly grow from them because ultimately, it's the love and relationships we share with others that shape and define us, and allow us to formulate our conclusions about ourselves...
Right?