Simplicity:
This is not a promotional material for Independent Women, because let's face it ladies, as much as we love to do for ourselves there's nothing like having a man who wants to do for you. This is more about the understanding we have as to why we want to display our independence at times or in other words, insist on "picking up the check."
{Break in the post:: I truly wanted to speak on this before Mr. Champagne got his hands on it... but how can I carry on with my bravada of Womanhood after his views?! You can choose to scroll down and read Sean's response before mine as that is how it was posted. ANYWAY, back to the regularly scheduled program of "Picking Up the Check: Why Can't She?"}
Sean, while I understand your explanation as to why this act may pose a problem to your manhood.... Man Up! Lmao... okay, so we're constantly hearing that the views of others have nothing to do with you and the person you're dealing with. However, when it comes down to matters of tradition that is the #1 excuse men choose to explain their need for displaying their "manliness" in a relationship.
In 2009, I feel encouraged to support wherever possible. While some may argue that it's about being able to and has nothing to do with wanting to, I certainly have moments when I am so damn appreciative of having a man wanting and enable to pay for the movie, dinner, or 1.29 Coke from McDonald's just because I had a nonpregnant craving for it!
The gesture is sweet and the weariness of other's noticing me reaching into my wallet troubling your already somewhat troubled psyche or ego I guess I should say is amusing.
But, understand (for me at least) the insistence of picking up the check is to eliminate the potential for you complaining of being broke later! Ha! Okay.. that was a little harsh, but times are hard and no matter how well off someone may be.... or think they are... everyone could use a little help. If i can contribute in small or big ways I will most certainly opt to do so and would hope to be respected and admired for it not ridiculed and penalized with looks of "are you kidding?" or "put your damn hands down and don't you dare reach into your purse!"
I love that you are able to admit you've fallen victim to perception Sean... because we all do... but in the mind of myself and hopefully the remaining quality women out there, it is not about the perception of others. It is about the desire within to help those that we love.
Wouldn't you rather releasing a sigh of relief knowing that you got it but at the end of the day if it's necessary the beautiful woman beside you got you too?
I think this song is fitting although I couldn't find the original version:
"03" Bonnie & Clyde (Feat.Beyonce) - Jay-z
This is not a promotional material for Independent Women, because let's face it ladies, as much as we love to do for ourselves there's nothing like having a man who wants to do for you. This is more about the understanding we have as to why we want to display our independence at times or in other words, insist on "picking up the check."
{Break in the post:: I truly wanted to speak on this before Mr. Champagne got his hands on it... but how can I carry on with my bravada of Womanhood after his views?! You can choose to scroll down and read Sean's response before mine as that is how it was posted. ANYWAY, back to the regularly scheduled program of "Picking Up the Check: Why Can't She?"}
Sean, while I understand your explanation as to why this act may pose a problem to your manhood.... Man Up! Lmao... okay, so we're constantly hearing that the views of others have nothing to do with you and the person you're dealing with. However, when it comes down to matters of tradition that is the #1 excuse men choose to explain their need for displaying their "manliness" in a relationship.
In 2009, I feel encouraged to support wherever possible. While some may argue that it's about being able to and has nothing to do with wanting to, I certainly have moments when I am so damn appreciative of having a man wanting and enable to pay for the movie, dinner, or 1.29 Coke from McDonald's just because I had a nonpregnant craving for it!
The gesture is sweet and the weariness of other's noticing me reaching into my wallet troubling your already somewhat troubled psyche or ego I guess I should say is amusing.
But, understand (for me at least) the insistence of picking up the check is to eliminate the potential for you complaining of being broke later! Ha! Okay.. that was a little harsh, but times are hard and no matter how well off someone may be.... or think they are... everyone could use a little help. If i can contribute in small or big ways I will most certainly opt to do so and would hope to be respected and admired for it not ridiculed and penalized with looks of "are you kidding?" or "put your damn hands down and don't you dare reach into your purse!"
I love that you are able to admit you've fallen victim to perception Sean... because we all do... but in the mind of myself and hopefully the remaining quality women out there, it is not about the perception of others. It is about the desire within to help those that we love.
Wouldn't you rather releasing a sigh of relief knowing that you got it but at the end of the day if it's necessary the beautiful woman beside you got you too?
I think this song is fitting although I couldn't find the original version:
"03" Bonnie & Clyde (Feat.Beyonce) - Jay-z
Sean:
Ah yes. Once again we are trapped in that paradigm known as public opinion and/or tradition. You know, the things that "THEY" say. "They" say men are suppose to open doors and pull chairs and pick up checks. Well have you ever asked yourself, "Who are "they" and should I believe what "they" say? We are constantly judged by our actions, based on the reasonable person mandate- Well I'm sorry but I'm not a reasonable person! I have trouble determining the etiquette involving the issue of women paying.Honestly I believed it derived from a sense of entitlement. At the risk of sounding sleazy: I believe it came from an arrangement whereas if the man handled a dates expenses he felt and maybe even the woman felt she owed him. Yes, I mean sexually! Now, I like to try to be 'progressive' at least sometimes, and I understand the empowerment that comes with paying for things. So theoretically, I'm in full support of women paying, sometimes.(Especially because I'm cheap and put out easy ladies- just kidding...I'm rather expensive ha!)
However, I must admit I fall victim to perception and have on occasion had arguments with lady friends about them paying. At the time of purchase if a women goes for her purse it feels as if the entire establishment stops and looks at us and its a bit emasculating. You want the women to feel empowered but do you do it at the risk of being weakened? After much debate resulting from my female friends paying for things I've come up with the great compromise: in public the man shall pay and in private the lady shall reimburse him. And I don't mean sexually!
In response to Simplicity:
Ouch! I'm just saying sweetie if a woman goes out with a man and he doesn't pick up the check or atleast offer to, that will give you and your home girls fodder for years to come!
Homegirl #1: "Girl I'm glad you marrying Carl. You came a long way from dating chumps like...what was that guys name? The one you went to Che Maurices' with and he didn't even pick up the check?!"
Homegirl #2: "That was Carl. You see how much I trained him though right!!!"
Ya'll be all over a brother if he don't pay.
Simplicity- you know I know!
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